Disease

Remember when it kicked ass to be sick? I got strep once in 4th grade and spent a week straining to breathe -- and I didn't have to go to school -- it was awesome. Everyone wanted to be close to me, make out with me. People sensed my germs and sought them.

But now, now when sick, now I stay in bed and spend every moment wishing I could be outside, running, playing jai alai, shooting things. It would be completely intolerable if it didn't offer an opportunity to reacquaint myself with my favorite situation comedy.

Michael: The only thing I found in the refrigerator was a dead dove in a bag.

Gob: You didn't eat that, did you? I only have 6 days to return it.

Definitely the work of a flamer.

Anyone can get a job offer.

I can't trust a mailman with this.

Think you should do that math again.

It's fine: he's an arsonist, not an embezzler.

G.O.B. had not mailed the letter.

You want your belt to buckle -- not your chair.

I thought you were going to do a trick there... a fireball. I was: these things never go off.

You mailed that insurance check, right G.O.B.?

Always money in the banana stand. Tchk tchk.

No touching!

(All from one episode!)